A Medical Doctor and Psychosexual Educator dedicated to helping women struggling with low libido enjoy sex again, while simultaneously managing desire discrepancies and anxiety, so that they can have joyful, enriching sexual experiences for decades to come.
MY BIG WHY
Libido Differences Lead To Relationship Difficulties
70% of women with low desire attribute personal & interpersonal difficulties to their self-described low libido.
When couples report high sexual satisfaction, it accounts for 15% to 20% of their overall relationship satisfaction.
But when couples report low sexual satisfaction, it contributes 50% to 70% of their overall dissatisfaction with their partner.
References: Attitudinal Survey of Women Living with Low Sexual Desire, Sheryl A. Kingsberg, Journal of Women’s Health 2014 23:10, 817-823. Kristen P. Mark (2012) The relative impact of individual sexual desire and couple desire discrepancy on satisfaction in heterosexual couples, Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 27:2, 133-146, DOI: 10.1080/14681994.2012.678825.
How I Went From Guilt And Frustration To Deep Meaningful Connection
Since I started practising as a Medical Doctor in 2017, I’ve helped numerous women with their sexual concerns. I’ve become an Executive Board Member of the Southern African Sexual Health Association, nominated for the international 120 Under 40: Family Planning Leaders award, and contributed to numerous online and offline publications.
But I haven’t always known so much about sex!
In the past, I struggled in my own relationships with the pain and frustration of having differences in libido. I know what it’s like to question my compatibility with my partner and lie awake at night worrying whether my relationship is going to work out or not. I tried waiting it out, avoiding, pretending there wasn’t a problem, but it only made things worse.
I had to eventually ask myself: “How long am I willing to wait it out before my sex life (and my relationship) reaches a point of no return and we can’t save it?”
The answer: I wasn’t willing to take that risk and find out.
I Discovered That Most Sexual Problems Could Be Solved Simply By Having The Right Information
I set off on a mission to solve this problem, and me being me, I wanted to do it all on my own because I was too embarrassed to see a sex therapist (and it wasn’t exactly within my budget at the time). I wanted to prove to myself that I could figure it out. I wanted to fix things and reach a place where we could share deep, meaningful emotional and physical connection.
And so I did. I spent many nights scouring the internet, digging through medical journals, talking to experts, and reading book after book after book. And yes, I had to have many difficult conversations that were awkward, raw, and sometimes scary.
After years of research and trial and error, I came to realise that our problems were not about being incompatible or the relationship being doomed to failure, we just didn’t have the right information, and we weren’t taught enough about our bodies, sex, and navigating a sexual relationship to be good at it (yes, even in medical school!).
I learned (both personally and professionally) that most sexual problems can be solved simply by having the right information and knowing how to apply it in our own lives.
Now I Help Other Women Struggling With Low Libido – So They Never Have To Feel Guilty Or Broken Again!
That’s why I’m here today, and why I created Libido Academy. It’s been my goal to provide the resources that I wish existed all those years ago when I started dating and having difficulty navigating sexual relationships.
It honestly breaks my heart knowing that there are women out there who believe that there is something wrong with them, or they’re broken, because they don’t experience sex (or the desire for sex) in the same way their partners do, or how they see portrayed on TV or in pornography.
Maybe you can also relate to this?
If so, it’s my goal to untangle all of these inaccuracies and, frankly, the lies we’ve been told, and to lift this burden of guilt and shame from your shoulders so that you are free to explore and take pleasure in the kinds of sex that you enjoy, in the ways that you want to enjoy it (or not – if that’s what you prefer).
This Is A Safe Space For Women To Explore What Makes A Great Sexual Connection Great For Them
I know that talking about sex is hard, whether it’s with our partners or even our doctors. Not only is there a great deal of taboo and stigma to work through (particularly if you’re having problems in the bedroom), but it can sometimes be a very sensitive topic with a lot of big feelings involved. Often it can feel like we don’t have the vocabulary to even describe what the problem is.
But that’s okay, the good news is that you don’t have to go on this journey alone! I want to help empower you to create a life bursting with pleasure and connection. I want to break down the unnecessary taboo surrounding these topics, and have conversations about bodies and all the weird and wonderful things they do.
I’m here to be your friendly neighbourhood sex doc, who you can ask your most embarrassing questions, and trust that you will get a thoughtful, compassionate and reliable answer. This is a shame-free, blame-free space, and nothing is too TMI or weird around here.
A Little Bit More About Me
- Bachelor of Medicine & Bachelor of Surgery (MBChB) (University of Pretoria).
- Postgraduate Diploma in HIV Management (Colleges of Medicine South Africa).
- Medical Practitioner working in Sexual Health & Gender Affirming Healthcare (Private Practice).
- Part-time work as a Clinical Forensic Medical Examiner for the Teddy Bear Clinic, an NGO for sexually abused children.
- Executive Board Member, Gauteng Provincial Treasurer & Head of Media for the Southern African Sexual Health Association (SASHA).
- The International Society for the Vulvovaginal Disease (ISSVD) Member.
- Yellow Dot Doctor registered Medical Professional.
- Postgraduate Certificate in eHealth: Combining Psychology, Technology & Health (University of Twente).
- HIV Advanced Clinical Care Master Trainer (Department of Health South Africa).
- Sexual Attitude Reassessment & Restructuring (SAR) Training For Health Professionals (Facilitator).
- Gender Affirming Healthcare Online Training Course (Southern African HIV Clinicians Society)
- WPATH GEI Foundations Course (World Professional Association for Transgender Health)
- Gender Affirming Healthcare Training For Healthcare Professionals (Gender Dynamix)
- Gender Affirming Hormone Therapy Training (Professional Association for Transgender Health South Africa)
- Completed 1 Year Sexology Training Club Membership.
- 325+ Hours of Structured Continuous Professional Development in Human Sexuality & Sexual Health.
- Nominated for the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation’s 120 Under 40 International Family Planning Leaders Award for 2019.
- Contributed to the book A Celebration Of Vulva Diversity by The Vulva Gallery as the medical expert for the project. In this book, I addressed common questions and debunked myths surrounding sexual health.
- Founder of Libido Academy, an online course for women with low libido who want to overcome libido differences in their relationships and skyrocket their sexual connection.
- Contributed to numerous blogs, websites, radio shows and podcasts on the topic of sexual health and libido.
SAY GOODBYE TO LOW LIBIDO Today
You deserve to have a nourishing, thriving sex life that brings you meaningful intimacy, excitement, and joy – even during the busy-ness of life.