Trying to determine the difference between low libido and asexuality can be very difficult, especially if you’ve always assumed you have a low libido and recently discovered the asexual community.
It can feel like you’ve discovered a whole new world.
But how do you tell the difference between being asexual or having a low libido?
Sometimes what it looks like on the outside can be similar or even completely the same. What makes the difference is the underlying internal feelings and motivations.
*As a side note, I am not asexual so I don’t pretend to know what it feels like, I can only discuss what I have learned from other people who are asexual and compare it to The Asexual Visibility and Education Network.
1. Asexuals experience little to no sexual attraction to other people of any gender. While people with low libido do experience sexual attraction to other people but their desire for sex has decreased.
People who are asexual are not sexually attracted to any gender. They don’t look at another person and go “Ooh, I wish I could have sex with them!” But they can experience romantic attraction or attraction on a friendship level, which is different.
This doesn’t mean that people who are asexual don’t have sex or experience a desire to have sex with their partner. Asexuals can have sex or masturbate for all sorts of reasons, that are not necessarily related to sexual attraction.
People with low libido have usually experienced a high libido or sexual desire in the past, maybe at the beginning of their relationship and it has slowly declined over time. They are sexually attracted to other people, may think about what sex might be like with that person, but not be “in the mood” to have sex with them at that moment.
2. Asexuals tend to masturbate frequently where people with low libido don’t or aren’t interested in it.
Like I mentioned above, asexuals can engage in masturbation for a whole range of different reasons, usually frequently. But they will not desire partnered sex. These are two completely different activities.
People with low libido do not masturbate frequently, if at all. And are not interested in any form of sexual activity.
3. Asexuals aren’t bothered by not having sex. People with low libido are concerned and try to get help for it.
If you have never desired to have partnered sex and it doesn’t cause you any distress, then you’re likely to be on the asexual spectrum.If you have never desired to have partnered sex and it doesn't cause you any distress, then you're likely to be on the asexual spectrum. Click To Tweet
If you previously had a high libido and it has started to change, and this concerns you, you probably have low libido. If you’re actively avoiding sex and it’s suddenly causing problems in your relationship, you probably have low libido.
Another way to look it is: People with low libido WANT TO WANT sex. Where asexuals don’t care about it.People with low libido WANT TO WANT sex. Where asexuals don't care about it. Click To Tweet
At the end of the day, the label doesn’t have to matter to you.
You don’t HAVE to explore your sexuality if you don’t want to. You can choose how you want to live your life.
If after reading this you think that you may have low libido and you’d like to get help, take the Libido Assessment Quiz now to take your first step towards having the sex life you want. You do not have to live this way forever.
If you are not concerned or bothered at all, go on living your best life! You don’t have to follow what mainstream society is telling you that you should be doing or feeling.