Yes, you haven’t had sex in ages. And you know what? You don’t even care! You could go your whole life never having sex again and you’d be just fine. So what if you have low libido, it doesn’t affect your life.
The real question is: But what about your partner? Where do they fit in?
Are you arguing about it often?
Do you feel harassed every time they so much mention the topic?
Does the simple act of cuddling on the couch or a kiss hello give you anxiety because you are worried it might lead to sex?
If your answer is yes to the above, you have a problem.
There’s a big difference between not feeling like having sex and experiencing anxiety and resentment towards your partner for trying to initiate it.
It is completely normal to coexist with your partner without having sex for a prolonged period. Life happens. There will always be fluctuations in the amount of sex you’re having over time.
The problem arises when you aren’t open to having sex anymore while your partner is desperately trying to connect and share intimacy with the you, leading to numerous fights about sex.
This builds resentment, disconnect and frankly makes any type of intimacy impossible.
As much as you want your needs to be met, your partner deserves to have their needs met too.
By building up a wall and refusing any type of intimacy to protect yourself from having to have sex, you are shutting your partner out and creating an environment that can only lead to relationship dissatisfaction. Or worse, divorce or break-up.
I’m sorry to say, but you can’t go on just avoiding sex and hoping the problem goes away by itself. It’s not going to go away. You’re not going to wake up one day and magically feel like sex again.
As uncomfortable as it may be initially, it’s important to face the problem head on and talk about it with your partner.
If you care about your partner, you should care about the sex you are having (or the lack thereof).
If sex is important to your partner, then having sex should be important to you.If sex is important to your partner, then having sex should be important to you. Click To Tweet
Sexual intimacy is something only you can share with your partner (if you are monogamous). It’s the one thing you can’t get anywhere else.
If your partner doesn’t like listening to stories about your work stresses then you can always find a friend to talk to. If you partner doesn’t like going to the mall or going hiking, you can always find someone else to go with you.
But if you don’t like having sex anymore, there’s no one else your partner can go to.
You have no choice but to recognise your low libido, and how it is affecting your relationship.
Usually problems with your sex life have nothing to do with sex
When there are problems in a relationship, the first sign is usually a decline in sexual intimacy.When there are problems in a relationship, the first sign is usually a decline in sexual intimacy. Click To Tweet
It is going to be extremely difficult to want to engage in sex if you are angry or feel resentment towards your partner.
How will you know if you resent your partner?
You constantly think about all the things that they have done wrong, upsetting yourself over and over again.
You often deflect or try to escape from dealing with an issue, and you just don’t want to confront anything.
You avoid fighting with them at all cost, and instead of having difficult conversations, you start to become passive aggressive towards them. Even without thinking about it.
All of these small things add up over time. This is just a recipe for disaster in a relationship. And this is just one of the possible reasons why you aren’t having sex anymore. The list can be endless!
What’s important is that you recognise that your low libido does affect your relationship.
If it affects your relationship, it matters.
If you aren’t having sex and your partner really doesn’t mind, then there really isn’t an issue. If you’re connecting physically in other ways and you’re happy, there isn’t an issue. This can be just one of those times in a relationship where sex isn’t a priority.
But if you are fighting about sex or having difficulty talking about your sex life, there’s a problem.
Relationships can only thrive if there is open communication and shared vulnerability.Relationships can only thrive if there is open communication and shared vulnerability. Click To Tweet
If your relationship matters to you, then it’s time to do something about your low libido.
By taking the FREE Libido Assessment, you can take your first step towards improving your sex life, improving your communication and working through your sexual difficulties.