5 Telltale Signs Your Relationship Is On The Rocks

by | 13/01/21 | Relationship Problems

Wondering if your relationship is on the rocks? If you’re here then we can assume there’s definitely something going on behind-the-scenes…

Relationship troubles can start very minor and escalate into huge problems that seem way too difficult to deal with. The secret is to notice the red flags and danger signs when they first start so that you can nip it in the bud before they destroy your relationship.

Here are 5 common telltale signs that your relationship is in trouble:

1. Your relationship is on the rocks if: You don’t spend any quality time together

When you first start dating, you can’t stand being without one another. You go on lots of outings together, you even think going to the grocery store with your partner is magical.

But over time this fades and you start spending less time together. This is normal. Life gets in the way and you have other responsibilities outside of the relationship.

Problems arise when you stop spending time together completely. You start to notice that even when you watch TV together, you’re both scrolling on your phones in your own world. This can go on for months before you even become aware of how distant you feel from your partner.

I know, I’ve been there.

The way to tackle this is to make sure that you spend quality time with your partner. It doesn’t even have to be a lot of time, just proper quality time.

This can look like sitting outside together and having coffee after work to talk about how your day went. Or going on a late afternoon walk together for 20 minutes. What matters is connecting every single day, even if only for a few minutes. Over the long term, this will all add up and lead to a healthier, more connected relationship.

2. Your relationship is on the rocks if: You don’t have sex anymore

If you used to have a lot of sex and now nothing at all, then there’s a problem.

The good news is that problems in the bedroom usually have nothing to do with sex. Usually there are underlying issues that aren’t being addressed. This means that you can do something about it.

Sex is important in a relationship. It should never just be dismissed. It’s the one thing you share with each other that you don’t share with anyone else (of you’re monogamous). Sex and physical affection is the glue that keeps romantic partners together.

Sex and physical affection is the glue that keeps romantic partners together. Share on X

If you’ve noticed a sudden change in your libido and you need help, I have created a FREE Libido Assessment just for you! By taking the Libido Assessment, you will be taking your first step towards improving your libido and having the sex life you’ve always wanted.

3. Your relationship is on the rocks if: You’re happier when they’re not around

If you’ve started to notice that you’re happier and feel more free when they’re not around, or you dread going home after work and seeing them. There’s a BIG problem.

Your alarm bells should be ringing because your relationship is in trouble.

What underlying issues are you not addressing? What are you sweeping under the carpet and not dealing with?

Small resentments can build up over time until you aren’t even sure why you’re avoiding them in the first place.

Small resentments can build up over time until you aren't even sure why you're avoiding them in the first place. Share on X

The key is to keep communication lines open and make sure you deal with each little issue as they come up. Conflicts are inevitable, what matters is how you handle them.

4. Your relationship is on the rocks if: Your fights escalate into shouting and name-calling

Contempt is the killer of relationships, it can completely destroy all trust and communication. Showing contempt can include: eye rolling; sarcastic comments; insulting or calling your partner names; or even belittling them.

It’s impossible to try and resolve a conflict if you are showing that you are disgusted by them or that you are better than them.

Yes, you can (and will) get frustrated with your partner often, but you should still feel that your partner is worthy of respect at all times.

5. Your relationship is on the rocks if: You’re thinking about what it would be like to cheat or be with someone else

Cheating is an attempt to fill a need that you are not getting in your relationship. This can be about sex or even just fulfilling your emotional needs. You start to believe that this new person can somehow fill the emptiness within you.

As much as you would like to believe that to be true, it simply isn’t. No one else can fill a hole that you partner has left within you. You have no choice but to try and resolve the problem with your partner, or end the relationship completely.

And just to note, this doesn’t mean that you won’t or shouldn’t find other people attractive. Being sexually attracted to other people is completely normal and healthy, as long as you don’t act on it. This doesn’t mean that you’re not attracted to or don’t love your partner anymore.

Being sexually attracted to other people is completely normal and healthy, as long as you don't act on it. Share on X

You’re more than welcome to include them in your private fantasies, but don’t let them come between you and your partner.

In Summary

If you can relate to one or more of these red flags, your relationship is on the rocks.

As difficult and uncomfortable it may be, it’s important to stop sweeping your concerns under the carpet and trying to avoid conflict or difficult conversations.

Remember that it’s completely normal to argue in your relationship, what matters is HOW you do it.

If you feel that you cannot manage on your own, and you need a little more help and guidance, couple’s therapy is a great idea. Couple’s therapy is not just for people who are on the brink of divorce, it can be very useful in the beginning stages of a relationship to ensure that you have the skills to see your relationship through to many years.

A couple wondering if their relationship is on the rocks

Make sure to share this post with your family and friends if you think there’s a good chance it could help them too. Thank you!

Disclaimer: This blog consists of only my opinions and doesn’t reflect the opinions of the Department of Health of South Africa or The Southern African Sexual Health Association. All information is accurate and true to the best of my knowledge, but it’s possible that there may be omissions, errors or mistakes. While I am a registered medical practitioner, I am not YOUR doctor. The information presented on this blog is for entertainment and/or informational purposes only and shouldn’t be seen as professional medical advice. If you rely on any information presented, it’s at your own risk. Please consult a professional before taking any sort of action.

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